Zappa's finest

As a Zappa-head I have long amired the man's use of words, that is, those not in his lyrics.

Classic FZ quotes:
"I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do."
"A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment."
"I've been in discos around the world. I've made a very thorough sociological study of discos ... As long as people want to get laid, there will be something like a disco -- because that's the main social function of a discotec.
"When god created Republicans, he gave up on everything else."
"For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973."
"I don't give a fuck if they remember me at all."
"The most important thing to do in your life, is to not interfere with somebody else's life."
"The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property."
"Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over."
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
"The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents-- because they have a tame child-creature in their house."
"I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really serious ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird."
"Tobacco is my favorite vegetable."
"Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance, it's what makes America great!"
"There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another."
"There is no hell. There is only France."